The idea to write this article came to me in connection with specific case studies. I was approached by a young woman Katya, who complained of depression, constant fatigue, tearfulness for any reason, and often without occasion. ‘I have a loving husband, two small children whom I love very much, but for some time, I seemed to have lost with them an emotional connection. For no reason, no reason at all annoying, shouting at them. I left the profession, which was very successful.
She was a Professional Actress. Success was a long time. But one day, finding themselves at the height of his fame, she was frightened, I do not know why, what for this success may come in the form of public atonement – the disease I or my family. I unexpectedly dropped around the scene. And now I feel lost, unnecessary. I live as though when – it may be a child, was instructed: do not be meaningful, not to succeed, not to be is not to be normal, do not belong ‘How do I get out of this? What is happening to me? ” As it turned out in the process of psychotherapy, the picture of life (as indeed, the lives of most people), influenced by the so-called parenting orders.
They are essential for human life. R. and M. Guldingi treat parents as prescription messages transmitted by parents because of their (parents) own problems: anger, fear, confusion, unhappiness, anxiety, failure, etc. In his book ‘Healing the new solution’ M. and R. Guldingi give a list of basic parenting orders and taken on the basis of their children’s decisions. Injunction ‘do not do’ usually give your child jerking fear parents, who forbid him the usual things: climb, crawl, run, etc., infecting his self-doubt. As an adult man with such a prescription can not take their own decisions. Injunction ‘do not be’ – one of the worst, because in the future may produce in a person prone to self-effacement one way or another. It often sounds like this: ‘If it was not you, I would have long ago moved away from your father ‘,’ If you were not there, I would be easier to live and not be pulling the strap ‘,’ You’re so hard to be born, that I have since sick ‘, etc. etc. Injunction ‘do not be a significant’ often arises when, tugging children, parents say: ‘Children should be quiet and discreet. ” Prescription of ‘not Bring’ gives parents often during games. When the answer to win a child, they are offended, they break contact, as if telling: ‘do not be winning, and not ‘ Injunction ‘do not be a’ often give the child ‘not the’ gender (eg, waiting for a boy and a girl), to satisfy their unfulfilled expectations begin to clothe and educate this girl as a boy. Prescription of ‘not whether normal ‘and’ do not be healthy ‘get the children taken care of or love only when they are very sick. Psychosomatic symptoms. If a person is not being assisted to overcome stressful situations, is gradually emerging, so-called psychosomatic. Psychopathy. Psychopathy itself terapevtichno and entails a positive change in many patients.